Starting all over again... just to let you know...

I've been there, done that and also got the t-shirt... It's a place I'd rather not to visit again, although I know it will happen, wether I want to or not... Have you been there? Do you remember the goosebumps in your arms? The funny feeling in your stomach, between extreme joy and extremely sick? How did you handle that?
I left because it was starting to annoy me... the drama, the darkness of an enlightened room is overwhelming, the loneliness of a computer screen is actually worse than the one in a crowded room...
I've come to this world for a reason... I like to think there's something I'm suppossed to do, someone I'm suppossed to meet... I've gotten used to looking for long lost friends these past weeks... I need to know If they remember me like I remember them...
I had to delete everything I had written down in this journal before for mental sanity's sake... It's not good to treasure things that hurt you, or that you don't want in your life anymore... Just reading them before deleting them was a torture from ancient greek myths... like being eaten by and eagle everyday or pushing a rock uphill only to see it go down again due to its own weight.. over and over again I felt little daggers in my soul... now I must bleed, be released from form and matter... let myself be free once again, to taste the air and the water that come out from you....